Life! Wow it gives you things that you don’t want anymore and things that you want forever. Most of my life the things that I wanted have left and the things I don’t want stay. I know I want you and need you and yet you are still here. Whenever I think about you it always makes me say hey maybe my life isn’t that bad. I do have a reason to live.
Man baby tonight was not good. I just wasn’t myself. But remember last summer you get kind weird on me. I really think that was happening to me. You would tell me you see weird things and cry. I really felt like I was going to die tonight. I wanted to and thinking back on it, it scares me. I know it’s not you to do what I wanted you to do and tell me all that stuff but I needed it. I needed love and to know that I have a reason to stay. Now I know you’re going to say why didn’t I tell you this but I wasn’t myself. I hope you don’t thing I crazy or anything. I guess that since I’m always happy that at least ones a year I go while crazy and let all my anger out and I’m okay with it. When that happens again baby now you know. It’s not me and I’m somewhere in my body asking you for help to stop me from doing something crazy. I LOVE YOU BABY!!! I hope everything is going to be okay. And I don’t think it’s ever going to be reuse then tonight. Well its 1 40 and you sleeping I can’t really sleep. Tummy still hurts a lot. But I’ going to try.
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